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John Rambo vs Player
Description Many soldiers have been made in gaming and movies along with gangsters. But non come close to the superb commando of John Rambo or the murderous low life of Player from the retro GTA, Retro City Ramage. Both men have fought armies by themselves but which one of them is better then the other. Lets see who can win this death battle. Interlude Wiz: From the early days of the 80's to the future of 3000 there will and have always been great fighters, assasins, soldiers and killers. Boomstick: But only two of these commando's have been brought fourth today in the ultimate fight of manlyness and supremecy over the battle field. I can't wait it's so exciting. Wiz: One of these commando's is John Rambo, a former pyscho sent to the army to become one of the most unstoppable soldiers ever. Boomstick: The other Player, from the new retro like GTA game Retro City Rampage, who is busting up both civilians and cops in his goal of time travel. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, Armour and skill to see who will win a death battle. Player: Wiz: Long ago in the city of Theftopolis there was a man named Player (no joke) who worked for a major corporation but after he refused to kill a family he was fired. Boomstick: Which is weird because after that day player became a psycho path and didn't have a morality any more, I mean he runs over kids in the street with a f***ing huge semi. Wiz: Yes Boomstick, Player did become a psycho path and then started working for the low life scum as a criminal for the Jester, aka discount joker. Boomstick: Then one day after a heist with more references then anyone could count, Player found Bill and Ted's phone booth, went into the future, the phone booth broke and he met up with Doc Choc, aka a discount Doc Brown who also owns a time traveling Delorian. Wiz: Yes Retro City Rampage just takes all sorts of games and movies and mashes them together to make it's own original game. For the rest of the game Player must cause chaos around town, help out friends while beating up enemies and find all of Doc Choc's time machine parts while defeating the evil Dr. Robuttnick, aka a discount Dr. Robotnik who is also known as egg man. Boomstick: Anyway enough with references, Players main melee attack is his fists which are very powerful and strong. But Player can also pick up other melee weapons to help him out fighting such as baseball bats, nightsticks, zelda's sword/shield, golf sticks, paddles, shovels, mops, guitars and deaths giant axe thingy. What they weapons do and how they work are down below. Melee Weapons: Fists: Powerful doing damage but aren't very fast at killing, always has this weapon. Bat: Can be bought at stores or found around town, more powerful and faster then fists but no special effect. Night Stick: Can be bought or obtained when you kill a cop with one, very powerful and normally a two hit kill. Zelda Sword/Shield: Can be found in a cave, can cut bushes to reveal hearts and money and it's very effective in killing enemies. Golf Stick: Can be bought at store, when enemies are hit they are launched several feet and it's a one hit kill for normal enemies/civilians. Paddle: Can be bought at store, very fast weapon and normal enemies die in three hits. Guitar: Can be bought at store or obtained when killing a mariachi, two hit kill, is powerful and makes music when being used. Shovel: Can be bought at store, it's a two hit kill on normal enemies and after the first hit enemies are knocked out for a few seconds. Mop: Can be bought at store, it's a one hit kill for weaker enemies or civilians but a two hit kill for normal enemies and leaves water where every it goes which makes enemies maneuver slower. Death's Scythe: Can only be used by death or in free roaming mode, can launch targets feet away and is a one hit kill for any enemy. Boomstick: Players a fighter on the streets and is spectacular at jumping skills. He can jump on to peoples head and hurt them like Mario or ground pound above them to damage them exponentially. Wiz: Speaking of Mario, after Player was bitten by a radioactive plumber he gained the super ground pound. The super ground pound is a ground pound that explodes destroying everything around Player and in his path. Player has blown up cars by super pounding on them and can jump high enough to dodge an incoming car. Boomstick: But what would be a psychotic commando without a few fire arms. Wiz: Nothing Boomstick, Nothing. Boomstick: Exactly, Player has a variety of guns and explosives he uses to kill off the fuzz: Fire Arms: Pistol: Can be bought or obtained by killing police, shots 1 bullet at a time and does minimal damage. SMG: Can be bought or obtained by killing cops, shoots faster, stronger and more bullets than the pistol does. Shotgun: Can be bought or obtained by killing police, shoots a barrage of powerful bullets in front of the shooter that scatter around very fast. Bazooka: Can be bought or obtained by killing cop/soldier, shoots fast moving rockets that blows up anything it hits and anything around it's target. Grenade: Can be bought, a fast throwing projectile that can fly far and blow up anything around the target including the target. TNT: Can be bought, exactly like the grenade but more powerful. Bomb: Can be bought, exactly like the grenade just it's dropped not thrown. Fire Grenade: Can be bought, exactly like grenade but instead of exploding it catches anything it hits or around it on fire. Flamethrower: Can be bought or obtained by killing a soldier, burns enemies faster and only shoots fire right in front of user. Ghost Vacuum: Can be found at GO-GO busters HQ, is like flame thrower but it kills enemies and vehicles in 1 hit. NES Zapper: Can be found at Doc Choc's house, Is exactly like the ghost vacuum except it's a gun not a thrower so it shoots projectiles not sprays them. Boxes on light appear for a split second around the area the target was hit by a blast from the zapper. Robo Claw: Can be bought at store or obtained by killing robot cops, Stretches out and grabs enemies then throws them behind the user with such power it 1 hit kills weak enemies and stuns normal enemies. Wiz: As a gangster Player has the knowledge to hot wire and hijack any vehicle he wants including a tank. He can add guns, rockets or a turbo button (which makes a car go super fast) to any vehicle just by going to a shop where vehicles are painted and fixed up. Boomstick: WAIT WHAT!? He can hijack a U.S. standard ARMY TANK, HOLY S*** Wiz: Yes indeed Boomstick, yes indeed. He also can by a variety of power ups on the street that help him in fighting situations. Boomstick: Like the sonic shoes, shoes that give Player the speed to run like sonic the hedgehog. Wiz: The Biff man suit gives him Biff man fighting powers and 99 banana boomerangs. Boomstick: The tanooki suit will let him fly over the city very slowly or fast and ground pound on enemies or bystanders below. Wiz: The RoboCop suit will give him immunity as long as he is in the suit which the suit itself takes many hits to be destroyed. Boomstick: Final power up is deaths gift which makes player invincible for a long period of time but it's way to expensive. Wiz: Player can also purchase skate boards to ride places and drugs to heal him. Player though usually doesn't play by the rules like that. Player can pick up people or dead bodies and throw them at enemies or into the water. Player hijacks cars often, kills store owners, steals from weapons dealers and can pick up his surrounding to throw and kill enemies. Boomstick: Players also a master of disguise and can buy various hats, faces, glasses and skins to hide his identity from the fuzz. Player is also a master of food, by drinking milk Player goes slower but drinking coffee will make him super charged and speedy. Wiz: Player also knows about strategy as he can duck behind objects and sneak up behind enemies. Player can also heal easily just by buying snacks or drinks in machines. Boomstick: Ya all of Players needs can easily be found on the streets. It's like charity for the clinically insane criminals. Wiz: Player in his goal of time travel has killed store owners all over Theftopolis, rampage through the streets destroying many of cars, cops and people, has killed and owned the staff in a high school and f*** some girls which go her pregnant. Boomstick: After Player refuse to be the father of the child he was killed by his "girl friend" where death himself gave Player life again after Player filled in for death for a day. After his "girl friend" got the olympic runner team to bring him to the chapel but they didn't get too far because Player lit those b****es up. Wiz: Player has also found out Biff mans secret identity and kicked him out of his own mansion. Players helped a discount shredder lay bombs all over the city to help kill the discount ninja turtles, was arrested but escaped after surviving Death Cam VHS, and infltrated death castle where he killed everyone. He also escaped to the future, saved Doc Choc and finished ButtNick off with a BOOOM!!!! Boomstick: In true psycho fashion you have to end it all with a boom. Wiz: Player has done many more unbelievable things but before we get too side track lets check out his competitor. Boomstick: Now to John Rambo. Lets go team, over and out. Player:Gah! What kind of inconsiderate person would steal from someone!? Oh wait I would, heh heh heh. John Rambo Wiz: John Rambo the Vietnam veteran will join in the battle today. Wiz: John Rambo is skilled in guerrilla warfare, hand to hand combat and long range shooting. Boomstick: You can say that again, Rambo is very skilled in using all types of weapons. He has also been trained in the military to be the best in the army. Wiz: Rambo is very strong and knowledgeable in camouflage which comes in handy when trying to be sneaky. Even though Rambo is skillful with many weapons he carries around his bare fists, knifes, flying daggers, machine gun, pistol and flaming arrows. Boomstick: Rambo has taken on snakes, bats, wild wolves, enemy soldiers, armies and other country leaders in his mission to serve the U.S. military. Wiz: Both trekking through jungle and city, John Rambo has became a master a terrain and surroundings quickly. Boomstick: Rambo has little Armour on so he has a disadvantage in saftey which he makes up for in speed and strength. Wiz: Really there not much to say more about John Rambo except that he's a human tank. Boomstick: Well enough talking it's time for a commando death battle. Death Battle: In the U.S. Chaos HQ: Generalissimo: Jenkins whats that beeping noise on the Chaos-ometer. Jenkins: The beeping means that an area of the country has fallen into chaos. Generalissimo: Just my timing, were about to invade Chroma city and now I have to postpone it due to chaos, where exactly. Jenkins: Theftopolis sir, chaos always happened there but this chaos is like nothing we've ever seen. Generalissimo: It seems we need to send him in to deal with it. Jenkins: But sir is it safe for whoever is causing the chaos. Generalissimo: I hope to hell whoever is causing the chaos is not safe at all. Meanwhile in Theftopolis: A cop car was speeding down the street running over pedestrians, cops and the national swat team. Driving the car was a greaser looking fella who wearing sun glasses and smoking who seemed content with all the death around him. Soon the man rode up and stopped in front of a swat and police barricade that was in the street. A police with a megaphone yelled "Stop right now or we'll shoot". Following the warning came a middle finger from the car that signaled the police to fire at will. Then the car drove forward at top speed after the cops shot at it. Soon it caught fire and the man rolled out of it before it crashed into the barricade and exploded killing many officers. Player: Go to hell A plane flew over head as Player took off his glasses to see a shirtless man wearing a bandana parachuting right in front of him. Rambo: Are you Player, the man responsible for this chaos. Player: Depends who am I making this out to. Rambo: The police, your coming with me. Player: You seem kind of muscular and hardcore to be a police man. Rambo: I'm not and if you don't come with me I'll have to forcefully take you. Player: Now lets not get to hostile I'll just. Player turned away but quickly turned back almost punching Rambo in the face. Rambo though grabbed his arm, twisted it backwards and kicked Players side to the ground. Player got up a few seconds later staring right at Rambo. Rambo: I'll take that as an act of assault against a federal soldier. Rambo cracked his knuckles while Player grinned at him Player: Now that's what I like me, a challenge or should I say a challenger. Fight!!!!!!!!!! Player lunged forward with his fist wrapped up and punched Rambo square in the jaw. John Rambo was surprised as he was knocked back a little. But before Player landed another punch on him Rambo quickly delivered an uppercut to the jaw of Player then kicked him on the ground. Rambo then punched towards Players stomach but Player rolled away in time and took out a pistol from his right jacket pocket. Player started firing forcing Rambo to duck and cover behind one of the destroyed police cars in the barricade. Player: Who's having fun now? Player kept shooting maniacally until he heard the sound of a mini gun ready to fire. Player ran and hid inside a nearby building as Rambo came walking towards him firing with a loaded mini gun. Rambo: I guess I'm having fun. With all the firing going, player was able to quickly throw in an active grenade to blown the ever living lights out of Rambo. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Human themed DEATH BATTLEs